Do you ever get that feeling in your chest like there is a black-hole pulling everything in?
I've had the feeling a few times (although I experience a similar event when I am anxious), it's a burning feeling when your breathing becomes laboured, your head becomes cloudy and your eyes start to tear up. You want to scream but at the same time you want to curl up and sob your heart out.
Like I said, I've only had this feeling a few times:
Once because I was so frustrated with myself and my quick temper sent me into a whirlwind storm that could only end one way...badly.
Another time because I was so infuriated by the mistreatment and lack of justice for my friends but also because I was just as powerless to prevent the injustice as they were.
And the third time, the most recent, was because of someone I cared about very much. I'd never felt such a pain in my chest because of someone who was once more than a friend. I feel that everytime I look at them I am broken down a little bit more, I'm a little bit more empty and a little less human.
I'm mad at myself for having to be dependent on someone who doesn't bat an eyelid in my direction, I am mad for being dependent on someone else's happiness in order to be happy myself.
But really I am not angry at all, I'm just hurt.
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